i think there is a yeti in my attic. i keep hearing all sorts of bumps and scratching noises coming from up there. i told my grandma that there is a yeti up there, most likely taking his summer vacation because he was tired of scaring small Tibetan children with his large teeth, at least for the summer, and wanted to get away from it all. she looked at me like i was an idiot and said "squirrel" in her token Southern accent. at least my brothers laughed. well i kind of want to go up there to investigate, but am slightly scared. if it is a yeti then i will die. but if it is any type of small land mammal in the rodent family, i will either get mauled (because i am sure it must be vicious due to its loud sounds) or laugh due to its cute, innocent nature and its need to take residence in our attic. chances are it is a yeti, but those claims are completely unfounded and based mainly on suspicion. anyway, once my demon cousins get here in about 6 hours i will send them up there so that if it is dangerous, they will die, not me. this will also solve the problem of them being here. maybe this yeti was a blessing in disguise as a horrible asian monster only recognized in folklore. (i love folklore, and believe in most of it. i am, however, somewhat skeptical of things that actually exist, like platypuses. and yes, it is platypuses, not platypi. because it is from the greek -pus, meaning foot and is made plural by -puses or -pedes.....never -pi! but i do like pie.......)-thomas
