well, i am going to confluence with bcm this weekend- that ought to be great fun.

here is the continuance of my poem things--

my name is not your name
but my heart is your heart
sounds and thumps
like angry wasps
cannot overtake
this sloppy love affair
with tomorrow’s
words from yesterday
pounding on the
steel drum of
time and capturing
us again for the first time
over and over

16 septembre (1)

so this isn't following the normal poem thing-- this is just a normal blog.

i am just feeling really stressed with everythihng at school right now, i am really having to rely fully on God just to get up in the mornings. but i know it will all pay off in the end.

i am really loving humanities. sure there is lot's of reading, but i just loving learning about it all, especially the art. i'll go into more detail about this in another post, but i have wellness in 10 minutes and i have a few things to do before then. (by the way, wellness is the worst class)

adios!

15 septembre

so i haven't been as faithful as i could be--

i guess that’s the punishment
of being born to the first true love.
waiting until my knuckles turn fiery
and knowing you won’t even see.
hoping that maybe what they say
isn’t true for even a little bit
and not wanting to, but knowing
you’ll forget so who cares anyway.
and maybe something unpredictable
lives in your stomach like the rains in
april and you haven’t really figured it out yet,
but i still hope that one day you will see what
you’ve done to me.

13 de septiembre

another poem. this one is one of the shortest i've ever written.

sometimes i dream in black and white
like those old silent films that mean something to someone
and i forget that sound is a thump of the foot
and an unspoken word, too, if you let it.
it’s all in the eyes and a little in the shoulders
and maybe somewhere that means something to
someone but here and now it just means
i can’t hear myself think

12 de septiembre

i've decided to start posting a poem and picture a day until i run out. these aren't in chronological order or anything, just kind of random. everything is by me and i hope they are interesting to you.

i’m still here
even as you
live on the
dead lips of
a hope that
still burns bright

i’m still there
frozen in a
capsule of blame
with a watery past
and a sound
and a shadow-
thoughts still hidden
in a book that
can’t be read

i’m still everywhere
your voice can’t reach
and even though you
can’t see the thread
that holds our hearts
as one, like a force
we can’t cut loose
even if we tried-
but i can
and i grieve for you
a broken boy and a man
lost in a world
he can’t touch

you’re still here,
a person alive
but not living-
stuck, bogged, bartering
with a devil you’ve
never even seen, but
who haunts your dreams

you’re still there
hoping that monsters
aren’t real and that
people aren’t as bad as
that and good is something
pedestaled and envied
but still layers blanket
you and no one can
know unless you wake up

you’re still everywhere
in every word i say
and every word i write
and i know that this
thread can only be
because we sewed
it over and over again
a fire burns forever
in my heart and
that same devil creeps
into my innocent dreams

and i’m still here
like a soldier taking
orders, knowing his duty
and you’re still here
like a murderer returning
to the scene of the crime
-maybe we’ll finally
find each other and let
our souls rest --

10 de septiembre

wow, school is intense. humanities is like a difficult bundle of joy and death all rolled into one. and spanish is the same as it was last semester. easy and crazy. and political science makes me want to die. literally. or wonder how people can be so insanely insensitive/self-serving. and i can't forget wellness, well, actually i could.

so that's school--

and i've been writing a lot of poetry lately. like one a week, which is record breaking for me.

and i just got back from fripp island. that place is gorgeous. kind of like a jungle island paradise, where people live.

and today i almost had a heart attack. well, kind of. i saw online where the student bundle for adobe creative suite cs4(with photoshop, indesign, illustrator, and acrobat) was only $299. $299! when it is normally $999, that is a steal. so i order it, and choose the download. so it downloads and takes like all afternoon, all the while i am super excited. and then it is finally done----and it says you have to have windows vista sp 1 for windows? what the heck? i don't have that? well i wasn't sure. and i guessed not. so i was frantic. i had to get my money back. so i go to the website and say, return item. "you are not eligible to return" was the reply. WHAT?! so i sent a message to customer service. and i better get a response. and i better get my money back.

I just really love this picture- from huntington island lighthouse with my brother, cody