14 de abril

ohwow. ohwow. ohwow. does anyone else ever feel like they've missed their big chance? i mean, i am 20 years old and i am not really good at anything. it is like i have zero motivation to really pursue anything with a passion.

like, i am a semi-good artist. but i don't do it like i should, i haven't painted in like 3 months. and i mean, i doodle constantly, but i don't see any of those doodles going in the history books. what the heck is my problem! i should be a child prodigy by now.

and i write pretty well. i mean, my poetry has won an award and i think it is pretty good. why have i not published a book or something? i guess because i'm not motivated. but WHY???? that is the million dollar question. i can't even do the things i am good at well.

i am jealous of these kids who know what they want, go after it, and are amazing at it. especially when they are humble about it. i think i am pretty humble about my talent, but it has also got me NOWHERE! i still do what i've always done. isn't that the definition of insanity, doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.

maybe i'm half-way to insanity, or something.